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 Post subject: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Mar 28th, '19, 20:48    


Moi
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I consider myself a pretty understanding and forgiving person.
I've always made most of my choices based on feelings instead of logic, so I've come to understand why people do things and how they feel.

I've been treated not so great nearly my whole life, so you would think that's made me a bitter person, but I don't like to hurt others.
There was an actual fork in the road and some people take the other route and some take this route.
I don't like being hurt, so I don't like to hurt others.

I understand people make mistakes and most of them have regret and know they were wrong, so I have no issues forgiving them.
I have made a lot of stupid mistakes and people have forgiven me too.
But it's made me question if I'm right or wrong to be this way.

I had a friend killed last year by a drunk driver. Her death messed me up really bad. I miss her still cry and it's made me not want to leave home as much.
As much as it hurts me, I know it hurts others just as much or more.
And while I am angry and sad, I don't hate the person that killed her.
I hope they get punished whether or not it's jail time or they'll have guilt the rest of their life, but I'm not full of rage.

And it makes me wonder if I'm wrong to not feel rage.
I saw others express rage.
Am I stupid for not being full of rage?
Does that mean I didn't love my friend?



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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 10th, '19, 06:17    


Bunnei
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I don't think it is wrong. Everything affects individuals differently, and deal with emotions and loss differently. It doesn't mean that you don't miss your friend, not by a long shot! *hugs*
I don't believe that people that die from accidents/wrongful deaths would want their loved ones to spend forever in torment/rage. They would want peace for you, and for themselves. In my opinion
:qh:

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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 14th, '19, 04:51    


AutobotDen
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You're not wrong. and it doesn't mean you didn't love your friend. It just means you have a different way of grieving than other people.

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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 16th, '19, 22:04    


Miky90
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I think you are acnologing the fact that it was an accident and that the person who killed your friend probably didn't mean to hurt her.
So you are mourning her memory instead of looking for a skape goat to redirect your anger twords. I think it's a very mature way to aproch this terrible situation.

Also and I should have started with this, I am really sorry to hear about your friend

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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 22nd, '19, 09:01    


light_sucks
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Lots of people are very forgiving. I am in many instances. This is not one of them.

I am enraged by drunk drivers because they are selfish assholes. It's not like skidding in the rain and hitting someone. It's completely avoidable.

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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 23rd, '19, 03:03    


Moi

Thank you, everyone. I know well people grieve differently, but it just had me feeling like I was sad enough.
I mean my great aunt died, someone that babysat me all the time, and I shed very few tears for her. But I loved her.
I ugly cried for days when my dog died.

Light: I remember your stance from something I had said a long time ago xD
But yeah, it's shitty to do that.
I have never been drunk, so I don't know what that's like at all.
But I do know driving while drunk or high is bad.

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 Post subject: Re: Forgiveness
Post Posted: Apr 23rd, '19, 07:08    


MissNikki

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First off, I'm so sorry that your friend was taken from you so tragically. :qh:

I think we all react and grieve in these types of situations differently. I firmly believe that the way you grieve doesn't reflect on how much you loved your friend.

She knows you loved her. :qh:

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