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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Oct 3rd, '18, 18:12    


Jill Valentine
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the relationship with my mother is excellent at times, not that she is a type of ogre ... if not that when I have a partner she becomes very jealous! but little by little it is surpassing it.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Nov 12th, '18, 19:16    


Anime
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My Mother passed a few years ago and I have regrets about my relationship with her. I wish i could speak with her and apologize and tell her how much I love her now.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Dec 30th, '18, 05:52    


EmilyinNeverland13

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Whew.... Heere we go;

I cut my mom out of my life because of her lifelong abuse that she refuses to acknowledge. Every memory of my mom is just her abusing me emotionally or letting someone else abuse me physically. My mom is rather selfish and childish and didn't really care about me unless I was making her look good. When I didn't she felt the need to 'teach me a lesson' and would punish me in some way for just... being myself.

One lesson that was the most poignant in my mind was when she dumped me in a homeless shelter for delinquent kids. I stayed there almost a whole month or maybe more but her excuse was that she didn't want to pull me from my school (despite doing that same thing to my brother.)

So my mom and I don't talk anymore. I just. Can't deal with her emotional manipulation. Did I mention she tried to wear white at my wedding?

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Jan 2nd, '19, 22:21    


February
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My mother has always been very forceful, the last 15 years or so she has become more quick to temper. She has a lot of difficulty considering someone else's point of view, someone else's reasonings, or emotions.

For this reason she struggles to understand what it is like living with anxiety, which all three of her children struggle with. She is insensitive about mental health, despite suffering a mental breakdown during her university years when I was in primary school (12-15 years ago maybe?) she has very little emotional perception. This means she will pick and pick at someone even when they are close to tears, hysterical or begging for her to stop arguing.
She can be exuberant with her love, but equally aggressive and terrifying with her anger. Her egotistic worldview means that she remembers a different history of events. She will never admit that she is misremembering or misconstruing. She will

My siblings and I each feel that she has favourites. We have all felt emotionally abused by her, and in some instances feared physical abuse. We have had to reassure her that she is not a terrible parent, she will sob on us and say how she wished she hadn't smacked us as children or wish she had taken us out of the bullying school sooner. We would have to verbally give her praise and reassure her - now, I have always made a point of openly telling my family that I love them and making this clear, and let me tell you that these episodes are not the same. They were not insecurity, they were instances of seeking praise and compliments. She would force us to assuage any guilt she felt about the arguments or mistreatment she gave us.

I was the last to move out from home, and in the last year before moving out, she became interfering and obsessive about my life. She was nitpicking my partner of 2 years and trying to criticise my budgeting choices based on guesses she made about my purchases. When I told her of my plan to move out, she was standoffish and did not even ask about it until the week before, then accused me of not communicating with her about my plan, criticised my planning and said I needed to be more wise - in the space of five minutes, with no warning. She made me fear spending time with her because a simple conversation would turn into criticism and nastiness. For context, I am 22 years old.

I left home last month to move in with my partner's parents as a stop gap until we can afford our own place. I love my mother, but in the last month she has been the villain of multiple stress dreams/nightmares.
It's hard to explain and I feel like it will be some time before I can work things out.
I don't even want to visit at the moment.
Again, I love my mother. But she has also been the biggest source of conflict in my life for the past five years. I still feel very homesick and could never cut ties with her - I get anxious that she will be taken from me and that I would not have spent enough time with her.

I think that distance and lack of proximity will improve our relationship, which will be fantastic. But my sibling and I probably need a lot of therapy.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Jan 10th, '19, 16:23    


AlkseeyaKC
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With my mom, it's a bit complicated? Like I love her and she loves me. But, she doesn't have faith in me or thinks that I'm anything great. It's kind of odd but now that I'm older I've seen how it's affected my self-confidence and how I talk to people off line.

My mom is narcissistic. So whenever I try to talk to her she just changes the topic on her self. All I get is discussed looks or "so what?" kind of things. A lot of times she interrupts me and changes the topic. She seems to think I have no social skills but yet, she has never let me talk about things. I visit my husband's side of family and I feel more like a normal person with them. My mother-in-law always seems interested in what I'm doing and that makes me love her more than my own mother.

Things my mom has said in the past:
I don't know how you would get a job because your not professional.
I thought you would just be taking care of us for the rest of your life.

She also treats my bothers differently than me. Though it kind of sucks. I think it's all for the good though. I don't know why things are like this though. But like my brothers can talk to her fine even though they talk about crap and one of them is kind of a jerk a lot of the time. They constantly use and manipulate my parents in helping them out with anything. They are not doing well work wise, both have had a divorce, in debt and do drugs. They bend over backward to help them out and they are considered great because they "social people". With me, I get no credit for how well I'm doing. I'm not in debt, not had a divorce, I don't do drugs, I stay out of trouble and I get no credit or respect for it. But as I said, in a way, it's a good thing because it's helped me in the right way. My brothers rely on feeding off of my parents and I've learned to not rely on them as much. It just feels unfair to be treated in such a way.

Part of me feels like maybe I'm treated differently is because I was born with a hearing problem and ADD. When I was really young I was crazy and hard to control. I was on meds to calm me down, but I had problems wanting to interact with people. I wonder if these things have stuck with my mom and she just thinks that's the way I am even though I've grown out of all those problems. Well, I still have a slight hearing loss and ADD but I can handle those things now. I just get this sense that she feels like I'm defective. she cared and fed just because that's what a parent does. I try to keep showing her that I'm a fine person that I'm good, but it all gets ignored and pushed to the side.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Jan 19th, '19, 07:05    


MissNikki
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Quote:
February: She made me fear spending time with her because a simple conversation would turn into criticism and nastiness.


That's how I feel about my mom a lot of the time. I'm 31 years old and she treats me as if I'm still about 15 years old. I also deal with mental illness and she basically acts as if I'm just not willing to control my emotions. She gets very angry if I am upset or sad or angry. If I'm not displaying a smile or some positive emotion it pisses her off.

Oh, and myself, my partner and her all live together in a big house we just bought. She lives in the basement suite. And we wouldn't have been able to buy it without the funds from her selling her apartment. So, I hear about that a lot now, too. But I love the house so much and it's all I've ever wanted so I try to let her know how appreciative I am but still every couple weeks there will be a fight about something where she brings up how ungrateful or selfish I am. I'm almost kind of used to it at this point but I hate it.

Our relationship was much worse when I was a teenager and I sometimes worry that she still resents my behaviour from back then. She's also old now, and more quick to anger or get upset. When she is sweet she is very sweet but when she is mad ... she can be very cruel. I do love her though.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship with your mom
Post Posted: Jan 22nd, '19, 03:07    


Rune
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I do love my mom, but I don't want to see her anymore. I just get so mad when she opens her mouth. And she opens it a lot.

she likes to complain. She also slanders and sabotages people she is mad at.

I was terrified of my mom when I was growing up but I gave her a lot of respect too. she was very emotionally distant and untrusting and had low self-esteem and those qualities rubbed off on me [to a lesser extent]. but she is also very smart and has achieved a lot in her life. she lived her life to help other people and gave me good guiding principles..

but she wasn't there to help me with anything other than the minimal fundamentals of ethics and language.. No financial help, no help learning to drive, didn't save up for me for college at all..

I have a weird relationship with women because of my mom.. I kind of have imposter syndrome sometimes because I feel like I relate so much more to my father and to men in general.. Women are hard for me to talk and relate to because I didn't grow up with an example of a feminine woman in my immediate family.
I'm probably the girliest in my family because I'm very emotional like women stereotypically are supposed to be but I'm a tomboy who kind of cares about her appearance a little. but anyway.. the idea of gender feels almost pointless to me aside from I know "women" generally avoid me and men are more often than not pretty chill with me.

I'm not talking to my mom anymore. She is a bad influence and makes a lot of mistakes that make other peoples' lives miserable, not just hers.

I am kind of afraid she is plotting behind my back right now because last time I saw her, she was furious!

My grandmother is more of a positive female role-model for me and is like a mom to me. she has always been there and taken care of me and wanted me when my own mom didn't.

My mom was extremely jealous of the attention I got from the rest of the family, so we have not been able to see eye to eye very well.

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